Not Quite Yet

There has been a seismic, internal change in me since I have turned 65. A new heartbeat, a new, disquieting perception of what I have to offer and what my future holds. What is it about that number that has changed the way I think and plan and dream? Have I been so attuned to the idea of “past you’re prime,” or to slow down and take it easy, that I am beginning to believe these lies? Can it be all the Medicare Supplement flyers I am inundated with have finally had its way to redefining the woman God has created me to be? The hearing aid ads sent to my name don’t help either.

Before the last couple of weeks, I have been in a comfortable, reasonably non-challenging season. My family is well; my marriage is rich and growing. I love my career, my small group of women is growing closer to God, and each other, finances are in good shape. What is the reason that my pot getting so stirred up?

Why are you downcast, oh my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Saviour, and my God.

Psalms 42:5

This 65th birthday and 30th wedding anniversary years are giving me a gift of pause and reflection. I say a gift because I tend to live life in the left-hand lane. I rarely used my rearview mirror to observe what I may have left behind or missed because I was traveling at the speed of light.

This year I have the opportunity to soak in the sweet memories of relationships, life challenges, perceived failures, and successes. I open up a new door to our Lord so he can show me just a little more of the woman he is creating me to be. New eyes to see possibilities way beyond my small-minded imagination. Perhaps this aging thing, this new season of arthritis, gray hair (which magically disappears every five weeks or so), stiff limbs, and bulging belly, is an opportunity for a tweak in my life, a fresh start, and more precise vision? Audios cataracts!

To the best of my knowledge, scripture doesn’t mention retirement, slowing down, or setting the spiritual gifts on a shelf to get dusty. Moses was 80 when God called him to lead the Israelites out of Egypt and 120 when they finally entered the promised land. Heavens to Besty, Sarai was 75 when she gave birth to Issac, and her husband Abraham was 100 years young!

I would think, having experienced God’s mercy and faithfulness for my many decades of life on this planet, that a particular birthday or new season would no longer pose a threat to my peace and security. I wouldn’t question my future, my purpose, or my source of power. Hasn’t my leader, my friend, my Savior proved himself trustworthy. What happened to my faith? How did this powerful word of God get buried under a mound of fear and propaganda?

Jesus said

“I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

Mathew 28:20

All of us will experience a variety of seasons, challenges, times of reviewing life, and times of just pressing on. There will be a time of rest and a time for moving forward. None of these are dependent on a specific age or anything so subjective. These times are all in the hands of our dear Savior. From the wisdom of Solomon, the writer of Ecclesiastes:

“There is a time for everything and season for every activity under the heavens.”

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

I have had seasons of learning to live life differently. Seasons of painful goodbyes to unrealized dreams. Fortunately, these seasons eventually redirected me to my Lord. At that moment of surrender, He and His word guide me rather than my raw emotions, desires, and feelings.

Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

My hopes, plans, or presumptions can not have a foundation of subjective limits or fear. My future, my potential, is not determined by anything other than the sweet will of my Father.

It is God who works in you to will and to act to fulfill his good purpose.

Philippians 2:13

I could write a book, but my guess, if you are taking time to read this blog, you have experienced many seasons yourself. If you have surrendered your one and only life to your one and only creator, this is His promise to you:

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Romans 8:28

I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

John 16:33

Is something stirring in your pot today? Take heart in the hope and the power of our God and His perfect will for your life.

I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

Jesus said, “I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

Mathew 28:20

Shalom Dear Ones